Misled teacher - half life
it wasn't until I had been teaching for several years that I realized i had been lied to on many levels. my career of choice never turned into the rewarding experience we had been promised. it would be.
Supposedly teaching is something you do because of the intrinsic reward rather that expecting to be paid a wage that makes it tolerable to go to work each day.
To be fair to myself, I expected the first couple of years of my career to be rough as I got my bearings and learned the best techniques. And they were, but it was the environment rather than my lack of skill. Turns out I did my job fine, but it was the political aspect that nearly did me in.
You see, coming back into a school to teach is much the same as being there ad a student. There are cliques still - the people that kowtow to the administrators too, and if you aren't part of that in crowd, you are still ostracized, but it is on a professional level that can ruin your life if your life is your job.
Mine was. I had nothing else in my life outside of my job. Too many failed relationships left me too disheartened to hope that I would ever seem acceptable to any interesting man.
I still try to find someone though I won't admit it even to myself. I never can tell whether it's shame or anger that I feel when a man my age tells me I'm too old for him. That means, of course, that he is hoping to find a young, beautiful girl who is looking for a much older man.
The catch is that they want the hot young thing to fall in love with them and become arm candy but they can't understand that a young beautiful girl will only want them if there is money to be gained from the union. Such are the lives of the gold diggers and the dirty old men who think they are entitled to their charms.
I probably dropped the ball somewhere along the line. I dated a few much older men and discovered that their expectations of me ranged from that of nursemaid, to housekeeper, to kept woman By the time the last one finished treating me like a whore for the second time, I had had enough of all the older men.
Supposedly teaching is something you do because of the intrinsic reward rather that expecting to be paid a wage that makes it tolerable to go to work each day.
To be fair to myself, I expected the first couple of years of my career to be rough as I got my bearings and learned the best techniques. And they were, but it was the environment rather than my lack of skill. Turns out I did my job fine, but it was the political aspect that nearly did me in.
You see, coming back into a school to teach is much the same as being there ad a student. There are cliques still - the people that kowtow to the administrators too, and if you aren't part of that in crowd, you are still ostracized, but it is on a professional level that can ruin your life if your life is your job.
Mine was. I had nothing else in my life outside of my job. Too many failed relationships left me too disheartened to hope that I would ever seem acceptable to any interesting man.
I still try to find someone though I won't admit it even to myself. I never can tell whether it's shame or anger that I feel when a man my age tells me I'm too old for him. That means, of course, that he is hoping to find a young, beautiful girl who is looking for a much older man.
The catch is that they want the hot young thing to fall in love with them and become arm candy but they can't understand that a young beautiful girl will only want them if there is money to be gained from the union. Such are the lives of the gold diggers and the dirty old men who think they are entitled to their charms.
I probably dropped the ball somewhere along the line. I dated a few much older men and discovered that their expectations of me ranged from that of nursemaid, to housekeeper, to kept woman By the time the last one finished treating me like a whore for the second time, I had had enough of all the older men.
posted by Me at 3:30 PM
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