Insomnia - my fault
So here I am once again. It's pushing 3 am and I'm still awake. As usual, I've got a lot on my mind.
I wish that I could figure out how to put that "Free Hugs" video on my My Space page, but right now, it's beyond me.
Didn't hear from you-know-who on Friday, at all. Makes me wonder if he's just being petty because I wasn't up early on Wednesday to answer his all-too-rare emails early in the day. Come to think of it, I'm mad at him. How dare he treat me this way when he was already pretty much mistreating me?
Fine, I can ignore too. It isn't like I'm losing out on anything.
Still trying to figure out how to get coffee-man interested. But I really do feel like it's a lost cause. Not for him, of course. Just me. For a while now I've been feeling like I am at the end of that love-finding phase in my life. As if all that's in front of me is growing old and dying alone. At this point I can't see what anybody would see in me. The blinders are on. I'm sure there's something in here somewhere that someone could love about me.
An old ex-boyfriend called me the other day, saying that two weeks ago he almost headed to my house and let me know that he and his wife are separating, and that he'll take me back as long as I met a few stringent, almost cruel, conditions. Without even asking me if I was interested.
Where did he get the idea that I'd just take him back??? I mean, heck, he's really rich and now I don't let him push me around when he calls, but neither of those things specifically count as being good reasons to let him into my life again. Talk about taking someone for granted. He was taking for granted I'd do all those things for him again, and as my reward I'd have to quit my job and let practically enslave me.
No thank you. I can be plenty unhappy by myself. He needs to remember about the grass being greener.... Besides, he says I'm still too negative.
Ahem... can you please clue me in about all the wonderful, happy things that have happened for me, which cast negativity aside? I seem to have forgotten which times I was allowed to be deliriously happy. Remind me again how things always go well for me? You can't, can you? Because it's not the case. I'd even settle for mildly happy.
We are going to 6 Flags and not Branson after all. Someone didn't reserve the time-share far enough in advance, so I'm off the hook on paying for someone else's property. I made reservations at a hotel which pretty much covers all the demands my sister and brother in law had. First one being that I had to make reservations with my credit card because they say they don't have any. So if anybody gets screwed, it's only me. Fiiiine by them, I'm sure.
Condition for brother in law: must be near the Krispy Kreme so he can go in and finesse free doughnuts from them. He thinks it's soo slick to get the donuts and not pay for them. I think it's tacky and it makes me uncomfortable just thinking how gleeful it makes him to eat the freebies and not actually buy anything. This is the kind of guy who visits Sam's Club before going to a restaurant... He considers the food samples his private appetizer provisions.
Condition for sister: must have at least an indoor pool and jacuzzi for her and must not be expensive, yet can't be a rattrap. Nice to have near all the restaurants.
Conditions for me: if the hotel does honor my request for a rollaway bed, maybe I'll sleep in it alone instead of having to fight one of the boys for space in the big bed. Otherwise, somebody's sleeping on the floor and it damn sure isn't going to be me if I'm paying for the room as I often do.
So I found a Drury Inn with Cracker Barrel on one side and Denny's on the other. Couple of parking lots away from Krispy Kreme. Free breakfast (and a good one), sodas and popcorn in the afternoon, drinks in the evening. (Not sure what the drinks are about - it wasn't a perk I was exactly searching for.) Indoor / outdoor pool with whirlpool. Laundry machines, microwave, fridge, hair dryer, and all the decent stuff along with cable tv & internet. Avg about $89 a night.
I think I did well.
I'm not excited about going this time, like I used to be. I think it's because I expect them to cancel our plans at any minute. They do that a lot.
I wish that I could figure out how to put that "Free Hugs" video on my My Space page, but right now, it's beyond me.
Didn't hear from you-know-who on Friday, at all. Makes me wonder if he's just being petty because I wasn't up early on Wednesday to answer his all-too-rare emails early in the day. Come to think of it, I'm mad at him. How dare he treat me this way when he was already pretty much mistreating me?
Fine, I can ignore too. It isn't like I'm losing out on anything.
Still trying to figure out how to get coffee-man interested. But I really do feel like it's a lost cause. Not for him, of course. Just me. For a while now I've been feeling like I am at the end of that love-finding phase in my life. As if all that's in front of me is growing old and dying alone. At this point I can't see what anybody would see in me. The blinders are on. I'm sure there's something in here somewhere that someone could love about me.
An old ex-boyfriend called me the other day, saying that two weeks ago he almost headed to my house and let me know that he and his wife are separating, and that he'll take me back as long as I met a few stringent, almost cruel, conditions. Without even asking me if I was interested.
Where did he get the idea that I'd just take him back??? I mean, heck, he's really rich and now I don't let him push me around when he calls, but neither of those things specifically count as being good reasons to let him into my life again. Talk about taking someone for granted. He was taking for granted I'd do all those things for him again, and as my reward I'd have to quit my job and let practically enslave me.
No thank you. I can be plenty unhappy by myself. He needs to remember about the grass being greener.... Besides, he says I'm still too negative.
Ahem... can you please clue me in about all the wonderful, happy things that have happened for me, which cast negativity aside? I seem to have forgotten which times I was allowed to be deliriously happy. Remind me again how things always go well for me? You can't, can you? Because it's not the case. I'd even settle for mildly happy.
We are going to 6 Flags and not Branson after all. Someone didn't reserve the time-share far enough in advance, so I'm off the hook on paying for someone else's property. I made reservations at a hotel which pretty much covers all the demands my sister and brother in law had. First one being that I had to make reservations with my credit card because they say they don't have any. So if anybody gets screwed, it's only me. Fiiiine by them, I'm sure.
Condition for brother in law: must be near the Krispy Kreme so he can go in and finesse free doughnuts from them. He thinks it's soo slick to get the donuts and not pay for them. I think it's tacky and it makes me uncomfortable just thinking how gleeful it makes him to eat the freebies and not actually buy anything. This is the kind of guy who visits Sam's Club before going to a restaurant... He considers the food samples his private appetizer provisions.
Condition for sister: must have at least an indoor pool and jacuzzi for her and must not be expensive, yet can't be a rattrap. Nice to have near all the restaurants.
Conditions for me: if the hotel does honor my request for a rollaway bed, maybe I'll sleep in it alone instead of having to fight one of the boys for space in the big bed. Otherwise, somebody's sleeping on the floor and it damn sure isn't going to be me if I'm paying for the room as I often do.
So I found a Drury Inn with Cracker Barrel on one side and Denny's on the other. Couple of parking lots away from Krispy Kreme. Free breakfast (and a good one), sodas and popcorn in the afternoon, drinks in the evening. (Not sure what the drinks are about - it wasn't a perk I was exactly searching for.) Indoor / outdoor pool with whirlpool. Laundry machines, microwave, fridge, hair dryer, and all the decent stuff along with cable tv & internet. Avg about $89 a night.
I think I did well.
I'm not excited about going this time, like I used to be. I think it's because I expect them to cancel our plans at any minute. They do that a lot.
posted by Me at 2:52 AM
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