Dreaming about Jelly Bellies...

Is apparently a bad sign. I took a nap this afternoon (a couple hours) and dreamed almost nonstop about Jelly Bellies. That's rather funny, actually.

Not so funny was realizing a few minutes after I woke that I'm in the middle of a nasty blood sugar crash. My hands are shaking and I have that frightened, paranoid feeling that I usually get. I've ordered a pizza because there's not much food left in the house, and I haven't wanted to leave the house to go and get any. LOL

It's a wonder I'm able to type, but I've already had to correct several errors, so keep that in mind.

Yes, I am going to order some Jelly Bellies off their website because you just can't get them around here anymore, and I love them. It also irritates me when I buy a 49 flavor mixed pack and get tons of stuff like peanut butter, coffee, and yuck, licorice.

I remember sitting in the back of my BIL's SUV a few years ago for a few very hot hours in the summertime because he wanted to hold us all hostage while he window shopped at some used truck place. So the boys and I sat in the back seat, going through the beans, and tossing just about every other one out the window because of the aforementioned yuck factor.

Since I'm not getting an assortment bag of all flavors this time, I'm going to get the fruit bowl, tropical mix, and hopefully, the soda pop shoppe mix of flavors. Right now the last one isn't available on their website, so I'm waiting for a day or so to see what happens.

*sigh* I hope that pizza gets here fast. I don't feel so good.

Baby Beans

Some time ago, my stepmother gave me back a couple of my baby dolls that I'd had since I was very small. I don't know what possessed her to do it, just as I don't know what possessed her to take them in the first place.

I'd thought all this time that while I was gone to college, she'd thrown them away with the rest of my stuff. That may be what got me started with this hoarding problem of mine. I came home one weekend to find that she'd decided what I could keep and what she didn't think I should have anymore, and it left me with this awful feeling of loss.

She only did it for meanness. She decided that she'd let her grandchildren tear them apart if they wanted, and it didn't matter that I didn't get to keep one little thing from my childhood.

Now I'm afraid to get rid of much of anything, for fear of that lost feeling. I'm afraid I'm going to miss something and either not know what it was, or not know how to get it back or lose that feeling.

So she gave me two of my beanbag dolls back. She said she'd been keeping them put up for me. I kind of doubt that, but whatever. I was glad to see them again, especially Baby Beans.

Being a puppet, I used to have her talk to me and play with me, and yes, I really did sleep with her in my bed at night for as long as I can remember when I was little.

I'm not entertaining the notion that I'm saving her for my little girl, because the likelihood of that happening is dwindling every day.

But it's nice to see my Baby Beans again. She actually reminds me of what I looked like when I was little, which is good because I don't have any pictures of myself back then. I'm going to make a scrapbook layout with her, but I have to sneak around taking the pictures because she makes Quincy freak out. LOL