Victory and defeat over the weekend
Victory - I successfully installed a new towel bar in my front bathroom, using my handy-dandy drill for the first time. There were a few minor snags, but I worked them out anyway. Having a massive case of screws helped when I discovered that the directions instructed the installer to drill a 3/16" hole for each screw... Which was so big that the screws they provided had nothing to grab onto with their threads. They included those plastic bushings to put into the wall (you know, the kind that will be there forever if you use them?) but they wouldn't go into the paneling... So I found larger screws and basically said "screw this" after the first screw got stripped. It looks pretty good, though my brain wants to tell me it isn't level. Perhaps that's because I'm wearing some 15 year old glasses.
Defeat - I watched "Texas Chainsaw Massacre - The Beginning" last night. I wish I hadn't. I remember Dad dragging me through a haunted house when I was about 6, and there was a guy in there chasing us with a chainsaw, and when I finally saw the movie, I realized that the haunted house scenery looked familiar when I'd gone in there. Like I'd seen it before. I bet someone made me watch that movie. Dad. Who always got mad when I was scared of those places and got so mad once that I was crying and didn't want to go in, that he dragged me up the steps and I cut open my knee. So he dragged me through crying, screaming, and bleeding. I believe his comments any time something like this went on went like this: "I'm not gonna have a kid of MINE being scared of the dark."
Well gee, Dad. It was never the frigging DARK I was scared of. It was all the scary things running around in the dark and the light that terrified me.
Want to know what happened when the first really graphic slasher scene happened? I didn't react like I thought I would, and I sure didn't catch it happening, but it was when the scene was over that I realized I'd curled up into a ball, knees to my chest, hands on the sides of my head, eyes squeezed shut but still crying hysterically, shaking, and wailing. Don't tell me there wasn't anything way back there that seriously traumatized me about that whole situation. I've never had a problem watching horror movies, but something about this one and every other one tied into it just bothers me somewhere deep inside. I had to consciously force myself to think of specific people I know, just to keep my brain from reliving those scenes frame by frame.
Okay, back to something more cheerful. Sort of another victory. Since the stupid bulb blew here in my office, I went to buy another compact fluorescent, but specifically picked out some "daylight" fluorescent bulbs - bye bye yellow light! I know that technically, what I'm looking at is a bluer light than I'm used to, but it's brighter and more uplifting to have that kind of light in here now. The yellow always seemed to be somehow, just too dark. I can't stand having to strain my eyes just to get something out of dark lights.
Defeat - I watched "Texas Chainsaw Massacre - The Beginning" last night. I wish I hadn't. I remember Dad dragging me through a haunted house when I was about 6, and there was a guy in there chasing us with a chainsaw, and when I finally saw the movie, I realized that the haunted house scenery looked familiar when I'd gone in there. Like I'd seen it before. I bet someone made me watch that movie. Dad. Who always got mad when I was scared of those places and got so mad once that I was crying and didn't want to go in, that he dragged me up the steps and I cut open my knee. So he dragged me through crying, screaming, and bleeding. I believe his comments any time something like this went on went like this: "I'm not gonna have a kid of MINE being scared of the dark."
Well gee, Dad. It was never the frigging DARK I was scared of. It was all the scary things running around in the dark and the light that terrified me.
Want to know what happened when the first really graphic slasher scene happened? I didn't react like I thought I would, and I sure didn't catch it happening, but it was when the scene was over that I realized I'd curled up into a ball, knees to my chest, hands on the sides of my head, eyes squeezed shut but still crying hysterically, shaking, and wailing. Don't tell me there wasn't anything way back there that seriously traumatized me about that whole situation. I've never had a problem watching horror movies, but something about this one and every other one tied into it just bothers me somewhere deep inside. I had to consciously force myself to think of specific people I know, just to keep my brain from reliving those scenes frame by frame.
Okay, back to something more cheerful. Sort of another victory. Since the stupid bulb blew here in my office, I went to buy another compact fluorescent, but specifically picked out some "daylight" fluorescent bulbs - bye bye yellow light! I know that technically, what I'm looking at is a bluer light than I'm used to, but it's brighter and more uplifting to have that kind of light in here now. The yellow always seemed to be somehow, just too dark. I can't stand having to strain my eyes just to get something out of dark lights.
posted by Me at 5:52 PM
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