What is it with the "you're too old for me" attitude of most men these days?
I was actually told that once by someone my own age. It doesn't really matter whether they're 25 or 50, they all want to date someone who's around 18-21. (And some of them younger, but that's another disgusting topic.)
Personally, I don't get it. I've always thought that it's not a good idea to date someone that you can't carry on an intelligent conversation with. I know I've matured a lot since then, and I wasn't that bad then either. Still, I don't see what someone over the age of 29 would find truly interesting about someone who doesn't have the attitude of an adult.
Maybe that's the key?
I once dated a guy who was cute, but as I found out pretty quickly, dumb as the proverbial rock. He was about 5 years younger than me, and I kinda worried that he was fairly immature even for his age. (I was 29 and he was 24) If you know me, you know that I set a high value on intelligence. We pulled up at Sonic (me driving because I guess he wanted to save the gas money) and after he decided what he wanted to order, rolled down the window and started calling out to a carhop. He said, "Miss, we're ready for you to come take our order..."
My mind was saying, "Whaaaaaaat?" What person who's been living in Dyersburg for a couple of years (even if he was from Illinois) doesn't understand how Sonic ordering works? I kind of waved her away because she looked like she was about to tell him how stupid he really was. Then I explained about the button and the speaker, and how you use them to order. I didn't say anything about it, and I tried to be as bland in the explanation as possible, but those warning buzzers were starting to go off.
Of course, it didn't take long to figure out why he was reluctant to move out of his mother's house, and why he wouldn't get a phone. All the while, he was telling me to move back here from the town where I was working an hour away. (Silly me, I thought that he wanted to be closer to me.) He wanted me to move into his crummy little apartment with him. I say crummy not because of where it was, or what condition the apartment actually was in (both just fine, actually) , but because he wouldn't even get a refrigerator. Maybe he was too broke or something, but I think a fridge is kinda important to have - he could have gotten one out of the Shopper's Guide used for probably $25.
There was a girl who kept calling him when he was at home, and who kept writing him letters and sending him pictures of... their baby. I guess he was trying to hide from her, and dodge his responsibility. I think she finally got hold of him though, because within a couple of weeks, he broke up with me with the most nebulous excuse I'd ever heard, and about 6 months after that, I saw him pushing a shopping cart at Wal-Mart, with a baby strapped into it.
Now, he didn't have to mislead me like that.... then again, maybe he thought he could hold her off and sponge off me at the same time. In any case, I never even entertained the notion of moving in with him.
I do have to say this for him... he really was cute. Though he was fairly short - about an inch shorter than me, and I'm only 5'5". I just have a preference for tall men. It's probably some "I want to feel protected by the big man" psychological thing, which is fairly funny. And I'd like to have kids who are taller than me, for sure, but that's always a toss-up anyway.
There is a shortage of intelligent men around this part of the state. Moving is not an option. I tried that. And when you find that tiny pool (really more like a puddle), there are fewer still men in it who are nice. "They're just trying to get in your pants." Indeed.
If I tell them that there's no way I'm having sex with them in the immediate future, because I'm not comfortable with that and they're still pretty much strangers to me at that point, you'd better believe their interest cools fast and there's rarely a second date. Sure, I'm better off not having jerks like that in my life, but the nice guys aren't single at this point because.... they're already married.
Personally, I don't get it. I've always thought that it's not a good idea to date someone that you can't carry on an intelligent conversation with. I know I've matured a lot since then, and I wasn't that bad then either. Still, I don't see what someone over the age of 29 would find truly interesting about someone who doesn't have the attitude of an adult.
Maybe that's the key?
I once dated a guy who was cute, but as I found out pretty quickly, dumb as the proverbial rock. He was about 5 years younger than me, and I kinda worried that he was fairly immature even for his age. (I was 29 and he was 24) If you know me, you know that I set a high value on intelligence. We pulled up at Sonic (me driving because I guess he wanted to save the gas money) and after he decided what he wanted to order, rolled down the window and started calling out to a carhop. He said, "Miss, we're ready for you to come take our order..."
My mind was saying, "Whaaaaaaat?" What person who's been living in Dyersburg for a couple of years (even if he was from Illinois) doesn't understand how Sonic ordering works? I kind of waved her away because she looked like she was about to tell him how stupid he really was. Then I explained about the button and the speaker, and how you use them to order. I didn't say anything about it, and I tried to be as bland in the explanation as possible, but those warning buzzers were starting to go off.
Of course, it didn't take long to figure out why he was reluctant to move out of his mother's house, and why he wouldn't get a phone. All the while, he was telling me to move back here from the town where I was working an hour away. (Silly me, I thought that he wanted to be closer to me.) He wanted me to move into his crummy little apartment with him. I say crummy not because of where it was, or what condition the apartment actually was in (both just fine, actually) , but because he wouldn't even get a refrigerator. Maybe he was too broke or something, but I think a fridge is kinda important to have - he could have gotten one out of the Shopper's Guide used for probably $25.
There was a girl who kept calling him when he was at home, and who kept writing him letters and sending him pictures of... their baby. I guess he was trying to hide from her, and dodge his responsibility. I think she finally got hold of him though, because within a couple of weeks, he broke up with me with the most nebulous excuse I'd ever heard, and about 6 months after that, I saw him pushing a shopping cart at Wal-Mart, with a baby strapped into it.
Now, he didn't have to mislead me like that.... then again, maybe he thought he could hold her off and sponge off me at the same time. In any case, I never even entertained the notion of moving in with him.
I do have to say this for him... he really was cute. Though he was fairly short - about an inch shorter than me, and I'm only 5'5". I just have a preference for tall men. It's probably some "I want to feel protected by the big man" psychological thing, which is fairly funny. And I'd like to have kids who are taller than me, for sure, but that's always a toss-up anyway.
There is a shortage of intelligent men around this part of the state. Moving is not an option. I tried that. And when you find that tiny pool (really more like a puddle), there are fewer still men in it who are nice. "They're just trying to get in your pants." Indeed.
If I tell them that there's no way I'm having sex with them in the immediate future, because I'm not comfortable with that and they're still pretty much strangers to me at that point, you'd better believe their interest cools fast and there's rarely a second date. Sure, I'm better off not having jerks like that in my life, but the nice guys aren't single at this point because.... they're already married.
posted by Me at 8:10 PM
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